Cracked Open


Cracked open was the first clue on my crossword puzzle this morning.  It seems to me the words on my crossword always have something to do with what I am thinking about in my life.  Maybe it’s just that I’m drawn to that word because that is where my intention in life currently is.  What does cracked open mean?  Exposed is the word that comes to mind although the crossword answer was ajar.  I have realized I don’t like to be exposed, naked.  I have this giant self critic that sits on my shoulder and says don’t say that or do that.   On the other hand, I want to be cracked open.  I want to express who I truly am.  I want to write, dance, sing, paint, drum and any other form of self-expression I can think of.  What I have learned on this journey of finding my authentic self is I don’t have to be good at any of them, I just get to do them for fun!   The first time I was asked to do some movement that was more free form was at The Omega Institute in New York.  I took a class and they said make a letter of the alphabet with you body and I was thinking are you kidding.  I don’t know how to do that.  It was very scary at the time.   Now, I have flown out to California many times to dance The Five Rhythms or Soul Motion.  It is my favorite form of self expression but I had to literally step up and let go of it having to look a certain way.  It is the same with painting, I am not an artist but have had a wonderful time expressing myself through paint.  It does expose myself and it does crack me open.  But what are we here for if not to be cracked open.  Yes, you can stay closed and tight in a bud but I guarantee you it is more fun to open up.  Today is thanksgiving and I give thanks for all the gifts, opportunities and loved ones in my life.  It is also my birthday so I am thankful for the continued birthing of me stepping up and into more of the person I came here to be.  Have a fabulous holiday!

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